Wow.. has it really been almost 3 months since I’ve written on here? I’ve thought about blogging sooooo many times lately, but just never get around to it. It’s funny because so many things perk my interest and I think to myself “Hmm..i should write a blog about this”… but I don’t. And now, I can’t even really remember what they are!!! Oh well…
So lately, I’ve been thinking alot about the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I’ve never wanted to go through life with regrets. I don’t have many, thankfully, but I have some. I’ve hurt some people unintentionally and intentionally that make me feel awful now, thinking about how I’ve treated some people in the past. And thinking that maybe some of my own issues are my own fault. Maybe I’m single because I really don’t want to be in a relationship. But that’s not true, because I do! I want to get married and have the big wedding and have a family. But I guess what I’m saying is that I’m more content to truly wait for the right one. Wait on God’s timing rather than jump the gun a bit and go on my own choosing. I’ve met some great guys lately, but none of them are really…for me. At least not yet. But I don’t know when the right time is, or who the right one is. And I’m truly more content than ever to truly WAIT patiently. I think that God is definitely teaching me a lesson on patience and control right now. Self control that I need to have more of, and less of a need to control everything else. Because when I control things and get my way, it tends to backfire in my face and hurt not only me but many others in the process. So, I’m sorry.
Ok, on a different note, but still connected…Does anyone out there watch Jon and Kate plus 8 on TLC?? The season premiere was last night and as I was watching it, my heart literally broke in pieces for this family. It’s so sad to watch. Jon and Kate are a couple in PA who have 8 year old twin girls and 5 year old sextuplets. I’ve loved the show up until the end of last season that just got…weird. Jon and Kate are having some serious marital issues, and every time I watch I just want to tell them to get into Christian marriage counseling as SOON AS POSSIBLE! They need it! They can still salvage their marriage. I don’t think that any marriage is truly DONE and over with, even at divorce, especially with kids involved. God designed marriage to be FOR LIFE. Now, I’m not saying that divorce is totally wrong, because it’s not. I see many situations where divorce is clearly the only alternative to eternal suffering and pain through emotional, phsyical abuse or whatever. I get that. But at the same time, these two people clearly loved each other at one point in time. Wasn’t it just a season ago that they went to Hawaii to renew their marriage vows? I loved that episode. It spoke of how they were truly willing to sacrifice for each other and their children. But now, all I see is true selfishness. It’s time to show us that sacrifice. Jon said he “needed a break for the weekend”… excuse me??? You don’t get a break from parenting! Kate, I appreciate that you’ve been dealing with this for over 6 months, but stop playing the martyr and the victim. An affair and a divorce NEVER comes from just one side. Both sides contribute. Jon and Kate are consumed with fame and fortune and doing “the right thing for their kids”, which they think is continuing the show to gain a substantial income and financially provide for them. I have a feeling that even if they ended the show, Jon got a job and Kate and continued to write books and go on the occasional book tour, they’d still be set financially. But they spend their money on sportscars (did you see the one Jon got out of at the park?) and expensive trendy clothes. I know that they want the best, but there comes a point, especially in this economy that the best thing to do for your children, your family, YOUR MARRIAGE, is to stop being in front of America and truly focus on your marriage. The best thing for these kids are two healthy parents who clearly love each other and positively communicate it in front of their children. Nothing changes family dynamics and the health of the children in the future more than two consistent, Godly, positive, loving parents. So here’s my advice: get marriage counseling, separate and together, to really work out your issues. Don’t use the couch and interviews on the show to be your “therapy time”. Get your kids into counseling, because pretty soon they’re gonna know everything that’s going on (as if they don’t already), and are going to feel like your potential separation and divorce is their fault. Jon clearly resents Kate and Kate sees him as a bum! They need to get into counseling as quickly as possible and they both need to WANT to save their marriage and their family. As I watched the show last night, I couldn’t help but think that I was contributing to the demise of their marriage by watching and reading all the gossip online and in the grocery store aisle. So from now on, I refuse. I refuse to watch this family fall apart. I refuse to read the beyond the headlines. What I will do with my time is pray for this family. Pray that God would guide them and restore their marriage. Their kids depend on it.
It’s things like this in the world that once again, remind me of the power of our God. He’s in the one in control. He knows our every breath, every step, every decision. He has already chosen the man for me and in HIS timing, not my own, He will reveal this man to me. I will continue to let Him be my leader and show me the ways He would have me go. I trust Him. He’s making me ready for when He’s ready. That’s what I’m waiting for.
