ok, so I’m just testing how to insert pictures into posts here. Hmmm….. let’s see if this works! This is a pic of my brother Matt, me and his wife, Dianne at my graduation from Concordia University, St Paul, MN in May 2007.
Olympics and Music August 12, 2008
ok, so I LOVE the Olympics. I’ve decided that no matter what I do in the next 4 years, I’m totally going to the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. Seriously. I can’t wait! I’ve always wanted to go to London and this gives me a great opportunity to do that! 
YAY! I am so in awe of Michael Phelps right now. What an absolute HOTTIE! WOWIE! hahaha…so yeah, i’ll update with cool clips from the olympics the next few days. Below you’ll find the link to a video of the 4×100m men’s relay. INCREDIBLE FINISH! What’s your favorite part of the Olympic Games?
http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/share.html?videoid=0811_HD_SWB_HL_L0194
So yeah…. besides that, I’ve done some exploring of some new music lately. I LOVE MEREDITH ANDREWS! She’s amazing. I have one of her really good songs on my myspace page Annie’s Myspace or Meredith Andrews Myspace… so yeah… check that out… is there any new music that you’ve discovered that you enjoy? I’d love to hear it!
oh! I forgot! August 7, 2008
here’s the link to the interview that Steven Curtis Chapman and his family gave to Robin Roberts from Good Morning America. It was on tv this morning. It’s fantastic. I just wish they would have stated WHAT they have faith in… they attribute their forgiveness through the grief to their faith, but they never actually say what their faith is in, specifically (such as the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ on teh cross when he bore our sins for salvation and conquered death in the resurrection 3 days later!)
don’t forget to watch the whole family on Larry King Live on CNN tomorrow night (Thursday, 8/07, 6pm Pacific)
Ruin Me August 7, 2008
ok so it’s 12:25am thursday morning and I just got home from seeing the new Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie. Freaking incredible. much more mature, but incredibly well written and acted. this makes me want to read the rest of the books! but besides that, it makes me want toreevaluate my life. I’ve been thinking about that alot lately. There are alot of things i need to change. Here’s just a short list: forgive others, forgive myself, dive deeper daily into God’s Word, have a life (a REAL life) outside my job and my apartment, go back to therapy (despite how terrified that makes me), lose 75 pounds (and be healthy), give up my starbucks addiction before i contract type 2 diabetes at the age of 25 (or have a heart attack), be REAL with my kids, stop lying to myself that everything is fine, and a whole slew of other things.
there’s something about seeing a movie that you can connect and relate to what the characters are going through in one way or another, even if it’s indirectly. there’s something to be said about a well acted film that’s cheesy and unrealistic in love, and yet how true that can be in it’s own. i believe in love. i believe that there is a wonderful, Godly man out there that God has chosen for me. I don’t know what’s taking God so long in presenting him to me, but I know he’s out there somewhere. I have to believe that. I can’t live my life and not believe in that kind of all consuming, wonderful, life-giving love that one person can have for another. But that’s where faith comes in. I already have that love. Jesus already did that for me on the cross. Why is it so hard for me to be reminded of that every day? I should be thankful, not resentful. ok, so i’m not resentful of Christ’s sacrifice, of course not, but I’m not always thankful as I should be either. we take it for granted. yes, that life-giving love has already accomplished my eterenal salvation, but what about companionship and romance and friendship and LOVE here on earth? don’t I deserve both? or am I only given one, because of my past mistakes? are my past mistakes ruining my chances at love? are they ruining my chances at happiness? are they ruining me?
see why i need therapy? i can’t deal with these questions on my own anymore.
there’s a song by the Jeff Johnson Band called, Ruin Me. here’s a sampling:
Ruin me
Woe to Me
I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see You seated on Your throne
Exalted
Your glory surrounds You
Now the plans that I’ve made
Fail to compare when I see Your glory
Refrain
Ruin my life
The plans that I’ve made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
Till it’s You alone I live for
You alone I live for….
makes you think, huh?
year books August 3, 2008
have you ever had one of those moments where you think “Is this really my life? is this where i saw myself being 10 years ago?”
i had that moment today. I was cleaning my guest bedroom in my apartment and I came across my old high school year books. I opened them and was reading and then it hit me. 10 years ago this fall I was a freshman in high school. I was starting the worst 4 years of my life. I was just a baby in life then. tear. lol… just seriously. I just had this moment today where I kept thinking if this is really where I wanted to be 10 years ago, and what would I change if i could. oh goodness. there is no clear answer to these questions.
well, i guess that no. this isn’t where I thought I would be 10 years ago. and yet, yes, it is. I knew as a 9th grader exploring the Concordia St Paul website that I wanted to get my degree from that university and I knew that I wanted to be a DCE or in ministry of some kind, whether it be professional or just a part of my life outside a career. I knew those things. And those things happened. I went to CSP, i spent 4 amazingly wonderful and traumatic years there. I learned more than I can even begin to describe. i am now a DCE doing mostly youth ministry and bits and pieces of other things. for this, I am glad. for this, i am thankful. for this… I am content. I do love what I am doing…most days. the past 2 months have been so incredibly chaotic that I can’t even think straight, let alone breathe. So getting sick and being down for the count for over 2 weeks was definitely God telling me to slow down and take a break and take care of myself. i don’t do that often enough.
this isn’t where i wanted to be 10 years ago because I’m not happy with me. yes, I’m happy with my job and my career and my professional life, but I’m not happy with ME. I have no social life. I don’t really have a hobby anymore. I’m overweight and definitely not happy about it. I’m single and DEFINITELY not content with my love life. I’d love to make more money and I’m DEFINITELY in debt over my head.
the hard part is this: i honestly think, that if i had the opportunity to change the past 10 years and do it all differently…. i wouldn’t change a thing. i wouldn’t change my majors or my academic track in college, i wouldn’t change my internship experience, i wouldn’t change sophomore year of college where a friend was raped in her dorm room across the hall where i slept. Of course i wish the awful, horrendous, traumatic things never would have happened. of course. But I also learned from all of them. I become a healthier person. I became a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, and a better teacher and a better DCE because of it. Life gives you experiences that, good and bad, they teach you something. you may not always learn from your mistakes, but you definitely change somehow because of them. I wouldn’t change the growth that I’ve seen in myself.
if you meet the high school freshman Annie of 1998 and then the 2nd year DCE Annie of 2008, you wouldn’t recognize me back then. i’m a completely different person now, and for good reasons. I still have my personality and my littel quirks that we all have since birth, but I’m just… different. I’m cooler now. hahahha. as lame and self-centered and shallow as that sounds, it’s true. it just comes with age and life experience. I’ll be even cooler when I’m 34, 10 years from now.I think my biggest thing is that I don’t want to live my life with regrets. there are only 2 things I regret in my life right now, but I’ve seeked forgiveness for one and I’ve given forgiveness for the other. So my heart is at peace. But from this moment on, I don’t ever want to look back on my life and see regret or struggles or hardships that I resent. I want to see those struggles and trials as experiences that God allowed me to go through to learn something. to learn about myself, about my world, about my community, and most importantly, to learn more and grow closer to my God. For that, i have no regrets.
Twilight August 2, 2008
ok, so there’s this new book series, well, it’s not really new, but it’s new to me, called ‘Twilight’. It’s about this guy who’s a vampire and how he falls in love with the one person that he must drink her blood. creepy. i’ve never been into vampire stories before, but this one is HUGE in youth culture today, so i thought that i might read it and see what all the hype is all about. I’m on chapter 2 and so far i’m intrigued. I dont know if i would recommend this to my youth. that’s the problem. that when i read a book i want to recommend it. i want to recommend it and still preserve some of my Christian church-worker integrity as I do so. I don’t think I’ll be able to do that with this book. Now, i’m still going to read it and finish it and maybe read the sequels. But I’ll have to separate Annie-the-reader-and-lover-of-good-books from Annie-the-DCE-who-needs-to-recommend-parent-friendly-positive-fiction to her teenagers. There’s a difference there. Is that contradictory? I don’t know. Hmmm….. but yeah… I’ll read it until i find a MAJOR objection with the content or the creepiness of the vampire story. they do freak me out.
