Home is like a fine wine… it can be good to taste, but after a while left in the bottle… it goes sour. Don’t get me wrong. I love home. I love my family. They are wonderful. I love being home where everything is familiar. But sometimes… my family can drive me up a wall. I love them to death and wouldnt’ trade a single moment, but they take so much more patience than I have. If patience is a virtue, it’s definitely one that I do not have. But still… I love being home. I love the smell of Christmas in this house. It’s so… homey! Our tree looks awesome. My mom picked out the most perfect tree… it’s the perfect height, perfect width and everything! I love it! I’ve done most of the wrapping. But that’s ok. I like wrapping. My house is in reconstruction, so we can’t take showers… so, basically, don’t come over because I smell. LOL… Our bathrooms are torn up but most of the reconstruction work should be done tomorrow, so by tomorrow night I can smell like a normal woman again! 
That’s something to look forward to… Anyways… ok, I need to head to the bed.. night all. If you read this, answer this question in my comment section:
Where in the world do you want to travel the most, and why?
Night all… Peace in! Merry Christmas!!
ahhh…the joys of being home…. December 22, 2004
Cal-i-for-n-ia December 17, 2004
hey… so school is over for a month…almost an entire month…woohoo!!! California, here I come!! So, anyway… finals are over, which is a wonderful thing. But I almost dont want to go home. I do, but I dont. I have a life here. I have friends here. My family is in CA, but everything else is here in MN… It’s kinda sad. But, still… I need to go home. I need the break. I need to get away from here and move on and think about things. But not too much…thinking tends to get me into trouble lately… oh well…
still, I can’t wait to be a DCE. I know i’ve said that before, but I am truly excited now. I’m still terrified of internship, but I’m ecstatic about going. I can’t wait!
My new quote for week: “Love does things for reasons that reason doesn’t understand” That’s from Joe, on Princess Diaries 2. Great movie. Wonderful movie… my new favorite…
Ok, time to go and pack… peace in yo… fo shizzle… Happy Break!!
ALMOST DONE!!! December 15, 2004
WOOHOO!!! I am almost done with my finals! Only one more test left, and it’s a group exam! Soo, woohoo! Thank the Lord! Also, I got a B in my counseling class… what a relief!
So yesterday and today have been generally good days. Not much new happening. I’m ready to go home for break. I’m ready just for the break, but I think I will miss my friends here more this year than any other break. It’s weird…steph is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and we’re both kind of depressed that we’ll be apart for break! LOL… that sounds funny, but it just shows how close we are. I don’t know what I would do without her!
So, here’s a cool story: my cousin Timothy was baptized last Sunday. Now, this side of the family hasn’t always been the most religious or the most consistent church goers. And that’s ok. But Timothy is 12 and in 7th grade and i think he’s been in confirmation classes. So, last Wednesday, he called my house in CA and invited my grandma, and my whole family to his baptism. From what my grandma told me it was just beautiful. Timothy gave a faith statement in front of everyone and then was baptized. I was crying when she told me this story. It’s amazing what the Lord can do… seriously… I am daily amazed at what God can do in our lives… how can people say that there isn’t a God when such beautiful and awe inspiring things happen. I am so in love with my Savior that I honestly don’t need a boyfriend. I may want one, but I know that I do not need one. I want to be content being me and being single for a while before I have a relationship. God has amazing things planned for me, and I need to trust Him… and I do. Lord, I love you… you amaze me each and every day. Thank you for… everything.
I CAN’T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!! I love this time of year. It’s awesome! Ok, it’s time for me to clean and wrap presents and then go see Oceans 12! Night all… Peace in!
finals December 13, 2004
i hate finals… i hate studying… i hate being dum… hahaha…ok, enough wallowing… lol… anyways… life is pretty good right now. nothing new… same old shiz. i’m ready for christmas break, but i’m not ready for the 20 pages of writing i have due on tuesday… craziness…
today at CV, it was a very good day. Pastor Wheeler continues to amaze me with his sermons. He is such a wonderful speaker. I love his sermons. Today was all about Mary and how she helped the Word become Flesh. What an awesome thing to think about. Mary, a normal teenager, helped to bring my Savior into the world. What a blessing. I can see why catholics want to worship her… but, i won’t go that far… still… it’s cool to think about.
I feel guilty for being overjoyed that I’m done with fieldwork for a month. If this is what i’m going to do for the rest of my life, why aren’t i sad that I’ll be gone for a while? I dunno… oh well…
I need to study…. i hate finals…. night all…peace in..
Christmas Par-tay!!! December 12, 2004
Today was a blast! So, i woke up, found out that one of my favorite movies, Far and Away was on tv, and then got to go shopping! How much better can it get? HAHAHA… well, the bridal showers for Jayme and Anne was so much fun. They both look so happy and excited to get married to their fiance’s. I hope that I will be as much in love as they are. wait, I know I will… God knows that…
then our christmas party was awesome… my girls are the best! This is a shout out to the best floor at CSP, Wollaeger 3 West! You ladies Rock my World!!! Secret Santa’s was a success and all of the girls seemed to have alot of fun. that’s what counts! I love Christmastime!
So, tonight was really good… I didn’t think too much (woohoo! small successes!!)… i’ve kind of moved past my bitterness and gone towards a desire for a true friendship. I think that’s the best way to go. The Lord has everything planned out. Once again, i need to trust him on that. He is the Prince of Peace, Mighty counselor… he knows me better than i know me… who else would you want to rule your life? Lord… thanks… again…and again….
Well, all, I’m on duty, so I need to make one more round thru the building, then I’m hitting the pillow… gotta get up at the buttcrack to dawn for church…. also, SURVIVOR FINALE!!! WOOHOO!!!
Night! Peace In!
Dancing December 11, 2004
The dance was so much fun! I had a blast! I think that it was fun for 2 reasons, I got to dress up and feel pretty even if most days I don’t think of myself as pretty. and 2, I got to see people I haven’t seen in a while and hang out and have fun together. I love dancing.
I wish I could dance through life. I wish that life would be as easy and fun as tonight. I wish so many things. I want to be able to overcome this sadness in my life. I realize that this sadness has been here since before my current situation, and that’s something that needs to be addressed. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend, and probably won’t for a while doesn’t mean that you are any less of a person. Sometimes, i think us girls tend to think way too much about things, especially relationships. I know for a fact that guys don’t think about them half as much as we do. Women, we need to chill out, relax and realize that we are not in control. I sometimes feel like because I don’t really have any close guy friends, my life is missing something. Well, the one thing it’s missing is a truly intelligent, intimate, close relationship with God. I love my Lord, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it’s so easy to get lost in the hustle-bustle and rush of our daily lives and not make time for the One who created us. I want to have that deeper, more intimate relationship with my Savior. He is the only lover I need. He satisfies all of my needs and knows exactly waht I am experiencing. Lord, I turn to you in my time of need and sorrow. Please lift up my heart and know that everything is not about me. It’s about you Lord. Amen
teaching, thinking and dancing December 10, 2004
Ok, so last night teaching was so much fun! It went so well!! I had forgotten the real reason why I wanted to be a DCE. It was to teach all of God’s children about Him and His amazing love and saving grace. What a blessing that is to feel so called to be one of those special few who He equips to lead His people. I am so grateful to my Lord. I can’t say enough of how awed I am by His amazing majesty, power, strength, love, grace, and mercy. He is in control of my life 100% and I just have to trust Him. When I trust Him, nothing I do will matter.
I’ve been thinking alot today. I have become very bitter and angry towards this current situation with a boy. I need to just back off and be patient. Just because he doesn’t want to start anything now, doesn’t mean that he won’t in the future. But I also don’t want to have this false hope that he will want to start something, if he knows now that he won’t, but he just doesn’t have the guts to tell me to my face. I want to get to know him better than anyone else on this entire campus. He intrigues me. I want to get to know who he is inside, and not focus on the physical attraction that we seem to have. I wish I knew if he felt the same. And if he did, why doesn’t he talk to me? it just seems like we’re avoiding each other, when I want nothing more than to talk to him. I dunno… this probably isn’t making any sense at all. oh well…. i give up. I give it all up to the Lord. He is the one who can do something about it. not me. Lord, take this burden. Thank you. Amen
I can’t wait to go to the dance tomorrow night. It will be a blast!! I’m going with the hottest date on this campus… a Miss Stephanie Lynn Roegner. She’s my bestest friend and it will be a blast to have fun together as well as with my Hyatt B girls. Dancing, fun, and cheesecake… can life get any better????
Hmmm… better not answer that one….
Thanks for reading and have a great night. If you have any questions about this posting, feel free to comment. I love comments!! Love ya all lots!!!!!
elevator noises December 9, 2004
this elevator is scary. i am currently sitting in the elevator of wollaeger being the “doorwoman” for the hall Christmas decorating contest. I jsut had to say how weird this thing is. It makes scary noises.
Anyway, today has been a relatively uneventful day. I told my brother all about my first kiss. It was…. funny… he was like, Go Annie! More power to ya! I couldn’t stop laughing… but whatever… it was fun. Alright, i need to go teach Confirmation now. Keep me in your prayers with these junior high kids. I’ll need it! I’ll be back later tonight to tell you how it goes! Also, Christmas FISH tonight! 10pm, Buetow, everyone go!! Have a good night!!
Patience and control December 8, 2004
Well this is going to be short (there’s a shocker)… Today was a good day. Until I let my thoughts get the best of me… once again. But that’s ok. I went shopping for some christmas presents tonight at Northwestern Bookstore. It’s funny how shopping can make you feel better. I don’t know what it is about spending your hard earned money on gifts for other people that makes you feel so wonderful!
Well, here are my thoughts for the day. Feel free to comment.
1) an original thought that I discovered last night while talking to one of my girls: “Guys think they know what we are missing when we aren’t with them, but they don’t know what they are missing when we are standing right in front of them.” Interesting, huh? Now, this isn’t really directed towards any guy in my life, but in a friends. Boys are tricky to figure out. And I’m sure that to them, we are intriguing too. I just wish that guys would actually want to get to know me. I don’t feel like I have any really close guy friends here anymore. I’m not sure if I ever really did. There aren’t many guys on this campus who would want to just spend time with me as a friend and talk to me and just hang out and have fun. I’m not asking for a relationship. I’m asking for a friendship. Is that too much to ask?
2) I hate being homesick
3) I hate not being in control. I hate that I have control issues to begin with. Why is that? Anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to control my control issues? hahaha… that’s an oxymoron… hahaha
4) I want to be a DCE. No matter how scared I may be or how unconfident I feel, I still want to try it out. I may not have the confidence in writing my own material, but I’m still good at it and I like it. My confirmation lesson for tomorrow is awesome. Thanks Matt! You’re going to make an awesome DCE. I’m so blessed to have you among my colleagues.
Prayer: Lord… show me your will, help me to trust you, help me to do well tomorrow, and guide my thoughts and actions. I love you Lord. You died on a tree for me. I can’t imagine a greater love than thee. Thank you. Amen.
Night all… ONLY 3 MORE DAYS OF CLASS LEFT!!! WOOHOO!!!!!
sorry, i tried to make it short, but there’s alot that goes on in this head of mine!!
Let go and let GOD! December 7, 2004
Well, the past 24 hours have been interesting. hahahaha…. Let’s start by saying that today was one of the worst days of my life. Mostly due to my own need for control over everything and everyone. I am usually a very positive and optimistic and peppy person, but today was way different. Many people noticed it and I’m sorry, but it’s normal to have bad days every now and then!
Some things I’ve realized today:
1) being a good DCE doesn’t mean that you have to be right and perfect and like every other DCE all the time. You are your own person. Be that person! Be independent and an individual. You can do it. You just need to have faith in yourself.
2) I can’t control everything. Especially with a situation that I let get out of control to begin with.
3) Best friends are hard to come by, but when you’ve got ones as great as the ones I’ve got, you never let them go. You are blessings to me. Thank you for putting up with my crabbyness today.
4) Sometimes the most needed talks come from the most unlikely places: I was able to get a different perspective on a situation I got myself into. This helped me more than I thought it would. Thanks
5) Just let go and let GOD! Let Him control your life. With faith, we are able to trust that God is in control of our lives. We need to focus that trust on His will for our lives. We may not know what that will is, but He does. He knows what’s best for us. He loves us more than anyone on earth ever could. What an AWESOME message!! He loved us so much that 2000 years ago He sent his Son down to earth to live among us as a human being. The Word became FLESH. How awesome is that? I love the Christmas story and what it means for my life. I love how I have a Father in heaven who knows my thoughts and knows the desires of my heart, even better than I do. When I have moments where life is rough and not going the way that I want it to, IT DOESN’T matter. He knows what’s going on. He knows the reasons why I am dealing with this. The only thing that matters is that He died on a cross for my salvation, and I wholeheartedly believe in that promise.
Why do I need a boyfriend when I have Jesus? He is all that I need. He is more than I could ever ask for.
Prayer for the day: Thank you Lord for all that you have given me. Thank you for this wonderful day where I am once again allowed to proclaim your gospel through my example. I am sorry if I haven’t been as great of an example for You as I could have been. Forgive me for all of my thoughts, words and deeds today Lord. You are the Lord and Giver of Life. You are the Light of the World. From this moment on, Heavenly Father, I give my life up to you. I give it all up to you. Take my control, take my worries, take this stress. Lord, I do not want it. Take this burden from me. Do with me, what YOU will. Thank you for sending your holy and precious Son to Earth to live among us and teach us, Father. He is the ultimate example of unconditional love. You are an awesome God. In Jesus name…Amen.
